How do you know a Therapist is a good fit?

Choosing the right mental health therapist can be a transformative step in your journey toward mental wellness. Mental health therapy is deeply personal, and finding a therapist who genuinely attempts to understand and supports you is crucial to making progress towards your goal(s). But how do you know if a therapist is the right fit for you? Here are some key indicators to help you make that determination.

1. You Feel Heard and Understood

One of the most important aspects of therapy is feeling that your therapist genuinely listens to you. In your sessions, do you feel like your therapist is fully present and engaged? Do they remember details about your life from previous sessions, or do they make you feel like just another client? A good therapist will listen to you without judgment, make you feel safe, and reflect your feelings and thought processes back to you in a way that makes you feel understood. If you leave sessions feeling like you’ve been heard and your emotions validated, that’s a really great sign.

2. The Therapist Respects Your Boundaries

A good therapist respects your boundaries, both in and out of sessions. This means they allow you to set the pace of therapy, never pushing you to discuss something before you’re ready. They should also respect your cultural, religious, and other personal values, while integrating them into your therapy process in a way that feels right for you. If you feel pressured or uncomfortable at any point, this could be a red flag. However, if your therapist supports your autonomy and allows you to lead the conversation, it’s a sign they respect your boundaries and your process.

3. You Experience Positive Change

Therapy is a process, and progress can sometimes be slow, but over time, you should start to notice positive changes in your mental health, behaviors, and thought patterns. This doesn’t mean you’ll never have difficult days, but overall, you should feel like you’re moving towards a positive direction. If you notice that your symptoms are improving, you’re gaining new insights, or you’re developing healthier coping mechanisms, it’s a good indicator that the therapist is helping you achieve your goals. Additionally, a good therapist will provide the space to correct whatever mistakes they’ve made. For example, if a therapist had made an assumption about your background, compassionately addressed the issues, and apologizes for their mistake, that can also be a moment to experience an uncomfortable, yet positive change.

4. The Therapist Is Culturally Competent

Cultural competence in therapy means that the therapist acknowledges, has genuine curiosity, respects your cultural background, and integrates this understanding into the therapy process. Whether it’s race, ethnicity, religion, gender, or sexual orientation, your therapist should be aware of how these aspects of your identity influence your experience (or at the very least, try to understand). A therapist who is culturally competent will not only respect your identity but also understand how societal factors, like discrimination or systemic inequality, can impact your mental health. If you feel like your therapist “gets” where you’re coming from, that’s also a good sign they’re a good fit.

5. There’s a Strong Therapeutic Alliance

The relationship you build with your therapist, known as the ‘therapeutic alliance’ or ‘therapeutic rapport’, is one of the most significant predictors of successful therapy outcomes. This alliance is based on trust, collaboration, and mutual respect. Do you feel like you’re working as a team toward your goals? Is there a sense of mutual respect? A strong therapeutic alliance means that you feel safe to be vulnerable and honest, knowing that your therapist is committed to helping you in your journey. If you feel that genuine connection with your therapist and a sense of partnership, this is another great sign.

6. They Challenge You (in a Good Way)

A good therapist knows when to challenge you, encouraging you to step outside your comfort zone in a supportive and non-judgmental way. This might involve helping you confront difficult emotions/situations, questioning unhelpful thought patterns, or encouraging you to try new behaviors. While these challenges can be uncomfortable, they are often where the most growth occurs. If your therapist pushes you just enough to help you grow, without making you feel overwhelmed, it’s a shows that they’re attuned to your needs and timeline of the growth process.

7. You Feel Empowered

Ultimately, therapy should empower you. It should make you feel like you are gaining more and more control over your life. A good therapist helps you develop the tools and confidence to navigate life’s challenges on your own. Rather than fostering dependency, they encourage you to trust your own judgment and make decisions that are best for your life. If you leave sessions feeling more capable and confident in your own ability to handle life’s difficulties, it’s a strong indicator that you and your therapist are a good match.

Last Thoughts

Finding the right therapist can take some time. It’s okay if the first person you see isn’t the perfect match. Therapy is a deeply personal experience, and what works for one person may not work for another (7 Signs a Therapist Is Not the Right Fit). Trust your instincts, and don’t be afraid to seek out someone else if you feel that your current therapist isn’t the right fit. Remember, therapy is about you, and you deserve a therapist who truly understands and supports your unique journey toward mental wellness.